A routine is a field tested set of actions you perform to achieve a desired result. Often, when a man first begins his quest to get better with women he is unsure of what to say, how to keep the conversation going and how to take the interaction forward. This is where routines come in. They allow you to add upgrades to your personality to get past your sticking points and to make the progression smoother for both you and the girl.
As an example, consider kissing a girl for the first time. Your natural routine may be to just go for it, after much hesitation, hoping that you have read the situation correctly and that she will not move away from the kiss. This may or may not work. It is a percentage game which depends a great deal on how fine-tuned your calibration skill is for reading the mood. Compare it with the following kino routine:
The girl is smiling at you and having a good time. You reach over and gently touch her hair. Play with it a bit and say it looks nice. If she likes it, things are good. While smiling look down at her lips and back to her eyes. She will know what that means. Go in slowly and kiss her. If you want her to feel really swept away, you can place your hands under her ears and pull her lips to yours. As soon as you are done lean back and just look into her eyes, letting the anticipation build.
This routine has several interesting aspects. First of all, if the girl is comfortable with you touching her hair she is also comfortable kissing you. Furthermore, the hair touching allows you to build up towards the kiss. Finally, the looking at her lips part lets you signal your intent and gives her some time to prepare.
With routines like this you do not need to wait for the mood to be right. You create the mood right then and there. It is a good routine for use in C1 or C2. Add it to your routine stack.
Throughout this book several routines have been suggested for use at different phases of the game plan. Based on these routines, and the theory provided, create your own routines that suit your style and personality. The routines you internalize for use in your game then become part of your routine stack.
How many routines you want to have in your stack depends on your social skills. If you are a socially savvy person you may need just a handful of routines in combination with the game plan to achieve consistent success. On the other hand, if your social skills are lacking you can compensate for that with a greater number of routines.
Routines can be divided into two categories: escalation and interaction. It is good to have separate stacks for these two categories.
Escalation routines are ones you perform more or less with every girl as part of the courtship dance. These include:
- Opener routines – Starts the conversation. Have two or three openers ready for A1.
- DHV routines – Displays your attractive personality and triggers interest in A2. Two or three of these will do.
- Qualification routines – Use these for qualifying the girl in A3 and also in C1/C2 for building the emotional connection. Five to ten of these are plenty.
- Kino escalation routines – Routines for escalating the girl’s physical comfort level with you. Starts in A2 and continues into C3. Have some 10 to 15 kino escalation routines ready.
- Transition routines – Let you move from one phase to the next. For example, your C2→C3 transition routine would be used to get the girl to follow you to the seduction location.
These are the minimum number of routines you need to take a girl from A1 to S3 and have her enjoy the process. If you like to vary yourself you can have a much larger stack of escalation routines to switch things up with. If you are good at improvising you can also make up your own in the spur of the moment.
Only 10% of the courtship time is taken up by escalation routines. The other 90% is spent free flowing – having fun, teasing, flirting and having a real conversation with the girl as you build attraction and comfort. This is where your awesome social skills come into play. Of course, if you had those social skills you would probably not be reading this so let’s cover interaction routines as well.
Interaction routines are used to keep the interaction going. Say your social skills fail you in your time of need and the conversation dies down. Then this is the routine stack you turn to – a collection of routines that you can use in any phase to help supplement your social skills in between the escalation routines. Here are some example interaction routine types:
- Topics – Fascinating topics that lead to deep conversations. For example, talk about peak life experiences.
- Questions – Useful for starting new threads or for getting a laugh. For example, “On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you feel about riding a roller coaster naked?”
- Story telling – Stories let you convey your personality and life experiences. For example, “Let me tell you about Greece…”
- Cold reading – Any technique where you tell the girl something about herself. For example, “Ever had your palm read?”
- Role playing – Assume a role with an obvious counterpart and she will play along. For example, boyfriend/girlfriend or brother/sister.
- Future projection – Talk about a future adventure scenario where you two are together. For example, “Imagine you and me walking along a warm sandy beach. We have just been out partying and it is the perfect temperature for a nighttime swim…”
- Misinterpretations – Some misinterpretation can spice up any conversation. For example, when the girl ignores her ringing phone go “You’re such a player”.
- Games – Silly kid games and other routines that demonstrate playfulness can be great fun. For example, “1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war”.
- Teaching – Teach her something awesome or useful. For example, “Do you know the L.A. handshake?”
- Themes – A reoccurring theme that you can bring back. For example, a cute nickname tied to something distinctive about her, or a point system, “You’re such a pain. Minus two points”.
- Small talk – Fluff conversation to show that you are actually for real. Gives a nice contrast. For example, “So, what have you done today?” or “How are you doing tonight?”
Interaction routines are interchangeable. You can swap out a story and swap in a game and it does the same thing. They allow you to have fun, which in turn brings you closer together. They also assume you have a strong rapport which builds your actual rapport. As long as you are doing the escalation routines you will be making progress no matter what interaction routines you are using in between. Find ones that match your personality and style and mix things up. As you learn to cultivate a great repertoire of interaction routines you will be amazed to see how quickly you can make the girl feel comfortable with you.
For a routine to be useful it needs to be internalized. You need to practice it until it becomes a part of who you are, otherwise your delivery will not be natural. Once a routine has been internalized you will be able to run it habitually. This will allow you to focus on more important things than what you are doing – such as listening to her, reading her response, calibrating where you are at in the interaction or being in your senses enjoying the moment. Note that interaction routines should only be conceptually remembered, whereas escalation routines are more scripted.
The cheat sheet is a list containing the titles of the routines you have internalized for use in your game. It can be an actual small sheet of paper or a note on your phone. It is good to have one because sometimes your brain just goes blank. Knowing that you have a list of routines you can turn to if you get stuck will also boost your conversational confidence.
Handbook of The Game