Your goal with learning the seduction arts may be to sleep with a lot of women, to find a lover or to get married. There is not a right or wrong choice, it is your preference. What you want can also be different for different women and may change over time. The same applies to women. Some girls know what kind of relationship they want, while others are more flexible. Keep in mind that even if you do not want the same thing long term, you may still want to be together in the short term because you enrich each other’s lives.
During the courtship the girl may ask what you are looking for in a relationship or tell you what she wants. Whatever your agenda is, it is important that you are honest when this subject comes up so as to not give her any false expectations. If the girl does not bring up the subject it is alright to assume you will just have a light, casual relationship to try things out and see how they develop. The girl is not going to demand exclusivity just because you sleep together. Likewise, you do not want to demand exclusivity from her early on, as that puts an enormous pressure on the relationship. Just keep things casual and give her a chance to win you over.
Whereas it is the man’s role to seduce the woman, it is the woman’s role to put effort into getting the two of you in a relationship. If the sex is good she almost always will, usually within a few weeks. Until then you do not need to verbalize the relationship. Just assume she wants the same as you until she says otherwise, at which point you can renegotiate your relationship. If you feel a need to explicitly define your relation before this, the best time to have relationship talk would be right after sex, as this is when your value is at its highest.
There are many different kinds of relationships you can have with girls. The sexual relationships fall into two different types: physical and affectionate. Let’s examine the physical ones first.
A physical relationship is one where you are intimate with each other without there being a bond of love between you. It is hard to believe for many guys that most women go through a time in their life where they just want to have no-strings-attached physical relationships. If you make this part of your reality you can have a lot of fun. As a man you should not feel bad about wanting a purely physical relationship with a girl. These relationships are initiated by girls as often as they are by guys. Furthermore, they can be used as a springboard for more affectionate relationships should you later want to take things further.
One night stand
The one night stand is when you share a night of passion with a stranger and then leave in the morning never to see each other again. It is the shortest form of physical relationship, but may transition into a longer one. The bar scene is a good place to find women who are interested in a one night stand. Look for girls who are clearly out to have fun, who are dancing on the dirty side or who keep glancing around the room to see who glances back. They may not necessarily be out to get laid, but it is a good place to start. Keep in mind that if you are looking for an affectionate relationship, rather than only a physical one, the one night stand is not the best way to start it.
The game plan is slightly different for the one night stand. You start with Attraction but then proceed to Seduction with little or no Comfort in between. You skip the emotional connection and go straight for the physical connection with rapid kino escalation. Hold back on the couple kino and focus mainly on the sexual, until one of you asks to go someplace private. Her place is usually the ideal seduction location, as she will be more comfortable there and you have the option of leaving before dawn. When you arrive at the seduction location let the kissing and undressing ensue the moment you walk through the door and go straight into Foreplay.
Do not expect pancakes in the morning. Just tell her you had a great time and make a graceful exit. If she was good in bed and you want to see her again, you can take her number and add her to your booty call list. Your relationship then moves up to booty call status. Sometimes, when you have performed above and beyond the call of duty, it happens the other way around. The girl will chase you down as you are leaving and ask to see you again. Either way, do not take her number if you are not going to call her. Be honest with her throughout the interaction and do not give her any false expectations.
To prevent the girl from getting attached to you, you should play the role of the attractive lover without any hint of being the caring provider. This will also make the hook up easier, as she will be more likely to let her guard down and allow herself to be seduced when she does not have to judge you as a long-term provider. Another key point is to make the seduction fast, over the course of a few hours or at most a night. That way the girl will not get the idea that this one night of fun will necessarily lead to anything more substantial.
Booty call girl
A booty call girl is someone you have a purely physical relationship with. It typically starts as a one night stand that you both decide to make a habit of, knowing that it is just sex and nothing more. You are intimate, honest and treat each other well, but there is no love between you and you do not hang out just as friends. Anytime one of you feels the urge you need only lift up the phone and call, hence the name. The main key to getting one or more booty call girls is to be exceptional in bed. Keep in mind that women love great sex just as much as men do, sometimes more. They just have a few more social issues to deal with.
Not every girl you sleep with will you be able to fall in love with. She may be emotionally unavailable, you may be, or you are otherwise incompatible. A booty call relationship can then be something fun you have together, while you are both on the lookout for a more compatible partner. This relationship type can also be desirable because you do not have time for a full, affectionate relationship, or because you like the sexual variety. Either way a booty call relationship allows you to be intimate without having to maintain a relationship or feel constrained by each other’s emotions.
The biggest issue with a booty call relationship is that casual sex is seldom casual. Even if you are incompatible and know that an affectionate relationship would not be a good idea, being intimate with someone may eventually lead to feelings of attachment and love. If you purposefully do not want the relationship to progress further you need to have certain ground rules in place. The main rule is to limit the amount of time you spend together. No matter how emotionally unavailable you may be, if you are seeing each other several times a week you are already setting the groundwork for things to escalate beyond booty call status. One way to avoid this is to get someone else into your booty call rotation.
A sex friend is a friend that you also have a no-strings-attached, physical relationship with. It could be a friend that you seduce or a booty call girl that you have gotten close to. Either way you hang out to have fun and not just for sex. You are not in love or exclusive with each other, but you like and care for one another. It is a solid foundation that can easily progress into an affectionate relationship.
Going from friend to sex friend can be a straightforward process, provided that there is mutual attraction between you and that you are both single and looking. The first step would be to get some time alone with the girl at your place. As she is a friend you already have comfort with her and so this step should be easy. Next, you need to figure out if she is attracted to you and if she also would like to take things further. One way to find out would be to do some playful flirting and see if she reciprocates. If so you can proceed from C3 in the game plan. Play it slowly and calibrate how she feels about it every step of the way. In case you are unsure if she would respond positively to the seduction, you can bring up the subject beforehand and ask how she would feel about you becoming more than just friends. Keep in mind though that in the process of asking rather than doing you may make the desired outcome less likely to occur.
If the girl does not reciprocate your show of interest she most likely sees you only as a platonic friend and not a sexy friend. This is often the case when you have been in the friend zone with a girl for a long period of time. In this case you will need to build attraction first before you attempt to escalate your relationship. There may also be other social issues that prevent her from reciprocating your interest, but often it is because your role as a friend has already been established. As a consequence of this, it is actually easier to build a new relationship with a new person than it is to change your existing relationship with a friend. Also keep in mind that if you do seduce your friend it will change your relationship significantly. It will be difficult to go back to the innocent fun you had before should you ever want to. However, the chance that your relationship can become something greater may well be worth the risk.
An affectionate relationship is one where you love your partner and she loves you back. This bond may not form initially, but after a number of meetings following the courtship it will almost always happen, provided that you both like each other and you allow yourselves to fall in love. Even though women are more expressive with their emotions, it is actually men who tend to fall in love first. Men will usually feel the bond within a few weeks of intimate meetings, whereas women may need a month or more for their feelings to solidify to the same extent.
To start an affectionate relationship you need to play all stages of courtship – Attraction, Comfort and Seduction – to set up the relationship correctly from the beginning. The Comfort phases play a much more important role for affectionate relationships than for physical ones. They allow you to hang out and have fun with the girl while you find out if you would be compatible for a deeper relationship. After all, even though love is essential in a long-term, affectionate relationship, a strong bond of friendship is even more so. Furthermore, the emotional connection you build in Comfort is also the first step towards falling in love.
A lover is someone you have an open affectionate relationship with, as opposed to an exclusive one. You have the same bond as with a girlfriend, but without the commitment to only sleep with one another. It leaves both of you free to be with other partners without the feelings of betrayal that would occur in an exclusive relationship. This kind of relationship is not one you have while you are looking for someone better. It is a real relationship, but one without the need to tie each other down.
The key to a successful open relationship is to let go of any feelings of jealousy. One way to eliminate jealousy between you is to have good, non-judgmental communication about each other’s sex lives. You tell each other when you have slept with someone else and it is up to the other person if they want details. Her honesty should always result in your positive feedback or she will be much more likely to want to lie or hide things in the future. Ask if she had fun and be happy for her that she had a good time. When there is open communication like this any feelings of jealousy will tend to go away.
Exclusivity in a relationship is not implicit. When you start a relationship with a girl she will probably be dating other men. Likewise, she will assume that you are seeing other girls. After all, if she likes you she expects other girls to like you as well. You are in effect lovers by default, unless you start off with a boyfriend/girlfriend frame. If your lover at some point asks for exclusivity but you want to continue the open relationship, you need to be sure to frame your relationship in a way that leaves her feeling satisfied.
You can, for example, tell her that she is important to you and that you really like being with her, but that you are at a point in your life where you enjoy meeting new people and being social. The unsaid implication that you may want something exclusive in the future gives just enough of an expectation so that virtually all girls will stay with you. Also make it clear to her that the two of you do have a relationship. You are not just sex friends, but involved in an affectionate, open relationship. Finally, tell her that you want her to be able to see other guys and not feel guilty about it. As long as you make the girl feel well qualified and valued she will be just as satisfied in an open relationship as in an exclusive one.
A girlfriend is someone you are in love with and have decided to have an exclusive relationship with. You commit to remain faithful and to love only her, and trust her to do the same for the duration of the relationship. This relationship status may be appropriate if you have no desire to be with other women or if you are not fond of the idea of your girl being with other men. You may also have started off as lovers and then transitioned into an exclusive relationship because you want to have a deeper relationship with just this girl. It is usually not difficult to get exclusivity with a woman, as most women like to have exclusive relationships with guys they have strong emotions for.
Even though you are in an exclusive relationship it is important that you still keep your social circle going. That way if the relationship does not work out you will not be starting from square one again. The girl may be a good match for you now but people tend to change once they are in an intimate relationship and so it may not last forever.
Your wife is the love of your life, your best friend and your lifetime companion. When you do find a girl that is most everything you could ever want you may eventually want to marry her and start a family. While all relationships can be short or long term, none are quite as long as this one. Getting married is a once in a lifetime decision for many people and it is not something that should be rushed into. Love can cause you to be in denial about a lot of things, but to have a successful marriage you need more than just love. You want to be sure that your partner and you have compatible personalities, interests and lifestyles. Though opposites can attract, it is the commonalities that hold you together for the long term. Finding the right person does not mean that the two of you will not have difficulties or differences to deal with. However, with the right person you will know that the two of you will be able to work through any issues that could hurt your relationship.
Handbook of The Game