After C3 the seduction phases begin, the first of which is S1 – Foreplay. The goal in foreplay is to sexually arouse the girl. This happens more slowly for women than for men. As such, take your time and turn her on for at least 15–30 minutes. Enjoy the process more than the goal. The way to turn her on is through teasing and slowly escalating kino, which basically means you can just do more of what you have already been doing through your kino escalation. The only difference is that you can now move closer to the overtly sexual parts of her body.
A woman’s resistance to sex is often about her wanting a different pace then the man. Take things slowly and demonstrate that you understand the process of sexually arousing a woman, the steps involved, and that you have control of yourself and the situation. If you can turn her on without any overtly sexual touching it will make things easier. Once she is turned on she will feel that sex was her idea and she will initiate the sexual gestures – such as grinding, touching or sex talk – and there will be no more resistance. On the other hand, if she is not turned on progressing will only cause more resistance.
Once the girl is comfortable you can start building the seduction environment. This will set the mood and create momentum for the foreplay. When she comes into a seduction location it is natural, so you can ask her to assist you in changing the comfort area into a seduction area. After all, you want the seduction to be mutual.
You might start with, “Can you light those candles? I’m going to turn down the lights”. Follow it up with, “Why don’t you go wash up, I’m going to find some incense”. When she comes back from the washroom continue with “Close the blinds for me, I’m going to go wash up”. Washing up is not only polite, but will also make her more comfortable with what is to come. Overall, act as if sex is normal and not special. If she is uncomfortable doing any of these routines you need to build more comfort first.
Kissing is an important part of foreplay and is how you transition into it. It can be as easy as her laughing at something you said and you reach over and start kissing her. Instead of releasing the kiss as you have done before, you keep it going and begin escalating. Caress the back of her neck to show that you mean business. Your kino escalation now transitions into foreplay.
A word about kissing. When you want to kiss the girl make sure that your lips are moist and not dry. This is what the chapstick is for. It may be flavored or non-flavored depending on your taste. Improving your breath, for example with breath mints, is a good idea, though it is not essential unless you have just eaten.
If the girl keeps on talking when you want to go for the kiss, you can give her the gesture of silence by placing a finger in front of your lips, along with a sly smile. Give her a seductive gaze as you pull her in close. Maintain eye contact until her lips reach yours. Make sure to lean your head so you do not collide with her nose. Start off slow with soft, gentle kisses before you go for more intense kisses.
With your mouth there are four techniques you can experiment with: sucking, licking, biting and massaging. For example, you can gently nibble on her lip or use your tongue to trace along it. Wait 30 seconds before you introduce the tongue. It should be soft and not stiff.
Whereas arousal for guys goes from the crotch outwards, women are the opposite. For this reason, you should deliberately avoid, but come very close to, her erogenous zones. The more you run your hands over her body without touching these places, the more she will want you to. It builds anticipation and boosts her arousal.
As you are kissing, you can start running your hands over her body, first above her clothes and later under them. To get beneath her clothes you can pull up her shirt a bit and go from there. Make sure that your hands are warm before you touch her bare skin.
In the beginning, a light slow touch is what turns most women on, without it being overtly sexual. This is heavily contrasted later by pulling, grabbing, and other passionate physical displays that women really enjoy. During sexual arousal the sensitivity of the skin is heightened, and so sensations that ordinary would be painful can become intensely pleasurable. For example, pinching her bottom or giving her sensual bites.
If her hands are not on you already, you can help her along by guiding them. She wants to touch you, but she may need your permission first. To give it you can take her hand and place it on you, for example on your leg or your back. From there she may start caressing and escalating on her own. The added bonus is that as she is touching you she will become more turned on as well. Another variant is to have her take your hand and then let her lead it over her own body, to show you what she likes.
Trying to put your hand on her breast before she is aroused may cause her to take your hand away, because it feels uncomfortable. What you can do instead is to start at the neck and then slide your hand downwards with intent, over her breast and body. It conveys exactly what you want to convey. A similar move is to run your fingertips from her upper leg towards her crotch, and then pulling away just before you reach it. Alternatively, you can take the opportunity to test if she is comfortable being touched between the legs, by placing your hand near her crotch and just leaving it there for a while. Read how she is feeling about it. If she accepts the move you can for example undo the top button of her pants and slide your fingers down to test the waters.
Another routine is to move her around into different positions, and grind against her, while you are still kissing her. You might push her down on the couch or move her on top of you, just like in the movies. Continue this and tease her erogenous zones until she is very aroused. She will get to the point very soon where she wants you to have sex with her. Once she starts grinding back or taking your clothes off you will have created the necessary arousal and you can then proceed with undressing her.
If you are not at the bedroom already, now is the time to lead her over there. On the bed you can start undressing her ever-so-slowly. After each piece of clothing is removed, pause for a minute or two and build her up a bit before moving on. The key is making sure she wants the next step before you get there. This means taking your time.
Begin with removing her socks, then her top and her bra (like a pro). The removal of the clothes should be subtext, so keep it smooth. You should be focusing on kissing her or maintaining eye contact while you are doing it. Move on to her pants next and her undies last. Give her a chance to undress you as well. If she does not go for it, you can either lead her hands into doing it or you can just do it yourself. Remove your clothing in the same order as you remove hers – socks first and then top to bottom. As you are going for her clothes you may have to deal with some last minute resistance, which is the subject of the next chapter.
Handbook of The Game