Once you have the girl’s attention in A1 you move on to A2 – Female to Male Attract. In this second phase the goal is to make the girl attracted to you. This is done by demonstrating value to her, mainly by conveying your attractive personality. Through this the girl will become interested in you, which leads to attraction.
Demonstrations of higher value
While talking to the girl in A2, make it apparent to her that you are a worthy and interesting guy. You want to convey that you have value and that you are not someone she can just dismiss. This is done through Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs). As a guy, you can demonstrate some value through your looks. For instance, being well groomed, having a sense of style and being physically fit are all DHVs that you can acquire to make it easier to trigger the girl’s attraction. However, your main DHVs all come from your personality. These have to be conveyed verbally – or through your actions and body language – during your interaction with the girl.
In order to get the girl interested, you need to be interesting. This is what DHV routines are about. They are routines that allow you to command the girl’s attention in a fun way, while conveying your attractive personality to her. Before the A2 phase your value is low, but as you perform DHV routines you will push up your status and get her interested in what you have to say. You want to make it apparent that you are doing this for your own amusement, and not to try and get something from her or impress her, as that would have the reverse effect.
The main DHV routine is storytelling. Convey your identity through interesting, personality-conveying stories that highlight your strengths in entertaining ways. The stories you tell should be taken from your own life, so go through your experiences and write down the best DHV stories you have – stories that show what you have to offer and what makes you the guy that she wants to be with. You should not tell a longwinded story, so cut out the boring parts. Just keep the emotional highs and lows. In addition to being interesting and conveying your personality and strengths, you should embed elements of you being an alpha male into the stories. The foremost attributes of the alpha male that you want to convey are:
- Dominance – You are the leader of your group. A man with power and choice.
- Confidence – You have a strong belief in yourself and your abilities. You get things done and go for what you want in life.
- Fun – You are fun, adventurous and interesting to be around. You are living your life fully.
- Warmth – You are loyal and caring to those who have aligned themselves with you.
Other DHV routines you can use are, for example, games, cold reading, informational or entertaining pieces, playfulness and teasing. More about these later.
Indicators of interest
When a girl is attracted to you she will signal it through Indicators of Interest (IOIs). This will happen both consciously and unconsciously. Some are subtle, others less so. Here are a number of typical IOIs:
- Body orientation – She turns her body, legs or feet towards you.
- Body language – She leans in or uses open, inviting body language.
- Mirroring – She mirrors your actions or aspects of your body language.
- Rapport – She smiles and giggles to show rapport with you.
- Preening – She performs fix-yourself-up gestures, such as letting her hair down or flicking it around.
- Touch – She touches you or herself.
- Eye contact – She has prolonged eye contact.
- Communication – She socially engages you. For example, asks a question about you or invests in storytelling of her own.
- Name exchange – She asks for your name.
If it is not apparent, you can determine the girl’s attraction level through IOI tests. Essentially, you perform an action and then judge her reaction. Here are some example tests:
- If you do not say anything, does she reinitiate the conversation?
- If you do a random high five or give her the rock, is she into it?
- If you walk around, does she sort of follow you?
- If you poke her, does she poke you back?
- If you put your hand up, does she take it?
- If you place her hand on your knee, does it stay there?
- If you take her hand and squeeze it, does she squeeze back? If you go limp, does she pick up the slack?
- If you play with her fingers, does she play with yours?
- If you put your arm around her, does she lean in or stay stiff?
If she does not respond to your test with an IOI do not take it personally. Just keep on running your DHV routines and try again later. Keep in mind that IOI tests are usually subtext. That is, you do not talk about them unless that is part of a routine.
Using DHV routines and IOI tests, you should elicit three IOIs before you move on to the A3 phase. After A2 you do not need to look for IOIs anymore. Just assume that it is always on, as long as she is still there talking with you. What this will do is that even if the girl is not that into you, your state will stay up and sooner or later she will be into you even if she was not before.
Before going off into A3 there is an important question you need to ask when you are in a group setting. The question is, “So, how does everyone know each other?” This is a one liner that will allow you to establish the relationships so that you know how to play the group.
Handbook of The Game